|Amazing Deviant Art|
You are a pain in the ass.
(It was at this point, in my lack of coffee, I did a double take.)
You regulate your breathing and color-coordinate the clothes in your closet. No Virgo in history has ever belched. (HA!) Virgos clean every square inch of everything they own twice daily with a toothbrush. Everything has its place, and yours is on the floor scrubbing with a magnifying glass, checking for germs. Obsessive-compulsive disorder? A nice euphemism for the word "Virgo".
(Hey! I have no idea what they're... oh, wait. Yeah, okay. Maybe.)
Virgos use pointers and elaborate charts to describe philosophical concepts. You commit a lot of drive-by shootings. When you are questioned, you tell the police that it was because "the bastard had a filthy car". The police usually let you go because they are Virgos too. (ROTFL!)
It is easy to freak out a Virgo. Tell them they have something between their teeth. Then watch them scrub frantically at the imaginary thing. Virgos are a hell of a lot of fun for assholes like us. Hell for a Virgo is being locked up in an elevator for eternity with a naked Aquarius (Oh, GOD! MY husband is Aquarius!?). That is because in hell, Aquarians are allowed to bring beer, which they leave all over the floor (That's fact. I can attest). Virgos, however, have to surrender their brooms and squeegees to God. (Nooooooo!)
Virgos don't see the world in shades of black and white. They see it in shades of clean and dirty. Cat hair makes Virgos foam at the mouth. Virgos are cool because they will do your laundry for you. They'll separate everything by color and fabric until it consists of fourteen loads of three things apiece. Then they will put them in the washer in alphabetical order by name of manufacturer. (I have sooooo.... NOT done this. *shifts eyes back and forth*)
Virgos also have a hard time coping when they find out there's something under the fridge. But it's usually just a depressed Taurus. Virgos have read enough Hints from Heloise to know that the depressed Taurus can be coaxed out from under the fridge with a banana wine cooler. (Really? Mental note: Get Heloise book.)
Hmph. What am I to do with all this new found,
Eh, I'll just fill you in on my progress. Then I need to go check my teeth.
Without further adieu... the first "official" week of mini-goddamn-deadlines is over and I'm heading face first into week 2.
I'm happy to say that the edits for the first four chapters are complete!
Though, knowing my obnoxious, overly critical, want-to-make-it-perfect self (see above)... I'll probably end up going back into those first four again.
At some point.
(HEY! They're the most important, right? They must be color coordinated and oh... Uh, nevermind.)
Whoa. Did something just move under my fridge?