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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Obnoxious Barenaked Ladies and Fancy Virgo Signs

As usual, the inspirational Lyn Midnight of Lyn Midnight Against the Odds has prodded me to blog.

It started as: "Hey, what's the best key word/phrase-a-ma-doodad people have used to find your blog?"

When I told her mine were lame, she didn't believe me.

Seriously, the best one I got is naked ladies and that's saying' something. *raises a sardonic eyebrow*

So, since they suck so bad they could turn into a super massive black hole, I've decided to try a different spin on her idea... Mwah!

Take a gander at the list-o-suckage: (Well, minus Joss Whedon... since he's freakin' awesome.)


joss whedon
obnoxious
barenaked ladies
fancy virgo signs
barenaked ladies cover
get to the finish line
naked ladies
inner stillness bestowal
josh whedon
loud wine label
quit before the finish line
want to know your soul

As you can see... I either need to become more risqué on my blog or something... 'cause these are BORING! HA!

So, it is in the frame of being creative with this lame-o words, that I am going to attempt to put them all together to make one kick ass paragraph. Though, I reserve the right to... um... tell you to ignore it all together and mind wipe you if I fail. Sound good?

Mmmmkay. Let's get started. :D

I was as obnoxious as I've ever been... but let's be honest, I don't want to know your soul. It's like a loud wine label, screaming for inner stillness bestowal, for godsake. Besides, I had to get to the finish line. I knew Joss Whedon was going to sing a Barenaked Ladies Cover and I had fancy virgo signs to get his attention. What? Don't judge. I could't scrounge up any real naked ladies. Not on this short notice. But that got blown out of the water. Next thing I knew, Ed from the real Barenaked Ladies caught wind of the event. He didn't like Dollhouse, so only some dude named Josh Whedon was allowed on stage. I didn't know what kind of fuckery this was, but I didn't like it. I mean, who names their kid Josh when it could be Joss? Nope, couldn't be trusted. Though I told myself I wouldn't do it, I quit before the finish line. TrueBlood was on anyway and that Alexander Skarsgård is hot. 


Vampirey barenaked goodness. Though, not at all a lady. 

9 comments:

Lyn Midnight said...

Ha! Okay, this took a little turn.

I would've thought your blog of all... blogs would come up with the funniest. I mean, you use words like fuckery and mindwipe for God's sake. I tried to google those but Google has not yet caught wind of them. Give it time. ^_^

Tracey L. Bentley said...

This was good morning laugh. What a creative way to make use of those search terms!

Carissa Elg said...

LOL! Glad you guys liked it. It was a fun… um… exercise. ;)

Mari said...

Hi Clarissa, I found your blog through @thefourpartland's daily news on twitter.

I have to confess that what first caught my attention was the "hideous" picture of the blond guy at the end of your post, *snorts to self* but as I read it I really liked your voice. Am curious to read your fiction!

Your post is a witty way of putting, as you say, boring keywords together. Too bad that people who will be looking for naked ladies will find out a gorgeous naked *guy*. Ha! lol

Nice meeting you! :)

Kioko2010 said...

Hahaha! Very Nice!!

Carissa Elg said...

Hi Mari! Nice to meet you! Yes… that "hideous" looking man… Sure is hard to look at. ;) Thanks for stopping by! I followed you blog and the rabbit trail to Twitter.

@Kioko - Thanks, woman! Have you watched TrueBlood yet?

T.S. Welti said...

Oh god, mine would be super duper BORING if I did this. Seriously, most people find my blog searching for "T.S. Welti" or "Osama bin Laden". Not kidding.

This was a fun little exercise. You should do it every year and see how it changes.

Jack said...

Carissa, what an absolutely fun and creative post! I loved it so much I think I'll try it with random words of destitute, delusion and destruction! How could I possibly pass up an opportunity to take advantage of this!

I think every writer should write a paragraph like this! Although, in my case, I think I'll write a paragraph based on popular Google searches for cartoon characters! This way, cartoonists would grace the comment pages of my blog with their somewhat hilarious sense of humor!

Thanks for this most-awesome post!

Anita Grace Howard said...

Haha! My gosh, you have a way w/the words, lady. LOL

And thanks for that tasty picture. What a nice thing to see on a dull Sunday afternoon. HEH.