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Friday, October 28, 2011

I really hope "normal" isn't contagious.

I find it intriguing the way people behave, myself included.

For years and years, I struggled onward daily… doing what was expected of me. What I thought people wanted…

What I thought I wanted…

This year, while writing Pendomus, many things have come into sharp focus. One of them, is this concept of being happy.

While I enjoy the person I've become… the interests I have, writing, the way I work, etc…

I've longed for more.

Yet… the people around me have often times pulled me back; "Want MORE? Why can't you just be happy with what you have?"

Here's the thing… I am not a statue. I am ever changing… and being in that state of evolution, how can I possibly stay happy without embracing the changes? Without searching for more? Without seeing how I've evolved and incorporating it into the way I think/want/act?

Life is a journey… meant to be walked with eyes wide open.

So many people, live their lives, every single day… without being present. Without… being.

That's not me.

I hope that's NEVER me.

I want to continue my life, seeing all the possibilities… seeing how I can make anything work. Even my challenges.

Going through a divorce, and seeing first hand the devastation, hasn't been an easy thing. It's probably been the most challenging thing I've ever faced. However, I'm walking through it with a clear head (at least, most of the time) and that makes it easier. I can see a bigger picture than what's happening right now… and yet, I am still allowing myself to be fully present in this moment of change.

Some people find it cliche… and maybe it is… but… things happen for a reason. I truly believe that and see the patterns in it. Maybe not necessarily the "God has a plan for us" kinda a way… but in the "Our lives unfold as they should" kinda way. And perhaps even that really is just a play on semantics.

People enter and exist as they should… There are lessons we all bring to each other… Even adversity makes us stronger… Yet, for some reason, people are afraid of change. Why?

Why is humanity perfectly accepting of a completely predictable existence? I don't get that.

Where's the fun? The challenge? The lesson?

Can we truly be alive if we never really live?

If this life… this one moment in time… is all we ever have… why are we wasting it?

My advice? Get out there and live. Chase down whatever brings you joy and makes you happy.

There's no time like the present.