It's strange, because I've found that life doesn't hand you what you want, it hands you what you need.
For the longest time, though I didn't realize it at first… I've been going through the motions. I'm not sure where it all happened. Hell, not even sure WHY it happened. I just know it did.
But I woke up one morning early this year, wondering…
Is this all there is?
Have you ever gotten like this?
It took me most of the year to process. To really wrap my head around why I was dissatisfied with the state of my life.
I felt frozen.
Frozen in time. Frozen in heart. Frozen… even in mind.
I know I talked about the fact that my husband and I have separated and are going through a divorce. And while the upheaval of that has been, at times, a bit crazy… the energy is moving again.
I'm moving again…
However, I'm starting to get new ideas for book 2… I've taken notes and gotten them logged… but as of yet, I still need to finish the last 4 chapters of book 1. Until this moving process is finished, I know I won't be able to get back into the world and devote the time I need to to write. But I can feel Pendomus… in the back of my mind, growing strength again. Even though I can't get to it yet, knowing that it's percolating there… it gives me hope.
But what I lack in writing, I've been gaining in inner peace.
I have one person to thank for that. One person that has helped me open my eyes to all the possibilities the future can still hold and his wisdom means more than I can ever properly express.
To bring this post full (Buffy) circle…
I just needed something to sing about.