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Friday, August 26, 2011

Embarrass Me[me] - Take FOUR (Tequila Fan)

Dear god… I'm only on number four?? I coulda swore I was done with these by now. Yeesh. 


Okay… For the sake of my sanity (and quite possibly yours)… this is gonna be the last Embarrass Me[me]. No one remembers where this started anyway… so… there! What? Besides… I have this thing… at the end of September… that's sorta… ACK!!!

And now… for the final installment:

4. Tequila Fan

The first thing I need to impress upon you, my lovely reader… Is this: I am not much of a drinker. Like… ever.

Very typically, alcoholic beverages last in my fridge for weeks or in my liquor cabinet for… years. (Alcohol can't go bad, right??) 

For one thing, I have too many balls to juggle (Uh...Does that sound bad to anyone else?) and I need my wits about me. 

However… for some bizarre reason, I've hosted an annual New Year's Eve party since I moved out of my parent's house. Things never got too wild… We're a bunch of geeks getting together and being a bunch of... drunk geeks.

∞ § 

On this fateful particular night… we wanted to mix things up. This party had to rock! 

It was, after all New Years Eve, 1999
Party like it's 1999!

TIME TO BUST OUT THE BIG GUNS: Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. ------> 

As some of you may recall, 1999 was the year the new Star Wars movies were being released. (Episode 1 had just dropped back in May or some goofy thing. For the love, WHY do I remember these things??) 

Upon revealing the pretty trivial pursuit box, Sherry (aka Beta-Reader-Extraordinaire) dropped a little bomb on us:

She'd never seen Star Wars. As in… any of them.

Whaaaaaa? There was someone from my generation who could watch the movies in their "technical" chronological sequence?? 

This wasn't right… 

There must be a tear in the space time continuum. -------> More importantly, how did I not know this??

Nice perm, yo. Who the hell took this picture?? 
In order to not have a HUGE advantage against Ms. Naïve, there was a brilliant suggestion: 


(Though, how this was going to help Sherry, I wasn't sure.)

This was a new experience (at least for me) and as you can tell from the picture, tequila tastes GROSS!

So, naturally… 4 shots of tequila later…

We were ready to rock and roll. The group was loopy. I couldn't see straight, so this was… good? Right?

Truth be told… I don't remember much of the game.

Here's what I DO remember: Sherry wiped the floor on Star War Trivial Pursuit.

Don't ask me how… I think it was through some weird brain-meld-osmosis thing.

Or quite possibly, because the 3 Star Wars nerds men geeks in the group kept giving her points when she shouted out answers like:

"CHIMICHANGA!" (aka Chewbacca)


"WD40!" (R2D2)

*shakes head*

After the embarrassing butt-whoopin' to a girl who'd never watched Star Wars, we celebrated the countdown in the usual style… we turned on the TV and yelled at the screen. (At least, I think we did…)

Then, for whatever reason, Sherry and I wound up on my bed. (It's not like that, you pervs!)

My mother had called and I needed moral support to talk to her and sound… undrunk. (See, I had just turned 21 and while, I was "technically" legal… I didn't want her to know… you know?)

The problem was, I couldn't stop the world from spinning… And Sherry couldn't stop giggling at a different kind of spinning-------->

Which in turn… started a giggle-fest.

The upside, as it turned out: Mom was as schnockered as we were!

Why did we change clothes?
And why couldn't I be the one in the leather pants?
Well, at least WD40 there could save me. ;)

So after hanging up the phone, and {I'm told} a good half hour of laughing at the fan, both of us were passing a garbage can back and forth…

Yeah, good times.

But at least for a while, we felt no pain.

Moral of the story: Get drunk and be a pretty blonde. You can talk your way through anything.

Technically, I'm supposed to tag more people to continue on the humility… but shhhhhhhh. I think I forgot. ;)


cherie said...

Wahahaha! That's hilarious!

TL Jeffcoat said...

Tequila my old buddy. I don't know how many rear ends I pinched after a few shots. It happened too often back in the days of my attempted suicide by alcohol (that's a joke, I was never intentionally trying to kill myself. ). What I do remember is a lot of angry boyfriends and a couple guys I thought were girls from the back. Stupid hair band fads.

Abby Geiger said...

I love the wondering why the wardrobe change - haha! Oy, I remember a tequila party I went to once. No, let me rephrase that: I remember I was at a party drinking tequila. I don't remember much else. Except that there was no Star Wars - tequila party fail!

KendallGrey said...

You know what they say, "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." Hahahaha! Great story, my friend.

Tequila and I go way back. We have a torrid romance, in fact. I suck a few down, and I become not only a raging maniac, but also invincible. I threaten dudes twice my size (I'm pretty sure one of them was a drug dealer), yell at people using a Boston accent (I'm from the South), and slam dance for hours at a time. Apparently, I make out with lesbians too. At least, that's what I'm told. *Sweeps photographic evidence under nearest rug*

So, I'm thinking some tequila shooters are in order for M&M. Just sayin'.

Stacey Leigh Brooks said...

i believe i have one of these type of stories (most with that hazy blackish fog border around every snapshot of memory) to go with almost every genre of booze. oh college, how i miss u. LIKE A ROCKSTAR, Carrisa! LIKE A ROCKSTAR! Until I got tired of spending the weekend with the imprint of the berber carpeting on the side of my head! Basically, I am so glad you are sharing your stories with pics too! Hahahhaaa...oh the last of the 90s. good times. EXCELLENT post!

Anita Grace Howard said...

LOL! That's awesome! And be glad Colin didn't see your balls comment. ;)

You can always judge a good time by how soon the trashcan appears and how long it stays. Hee

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this, Carissa! I think anytime girls meet with a bottle of booze at the ready, makes for a fun storytelling session years later! And this certainly qualifies as one of those stories!

Thanks for sharing! :)

Lyn Midnight said...

LOL! Oh boy, how can this person even exist? EVEN I have watched the first movies (not first first but first out, the good ones). Ahem.

By the way, you disappoint me! I can never be associated with a person who can't drink, not openly anyway; it would ruin my street rep!

I mean, you're talking to the girl who drank 6+ shots of tequila after God-knows how many glasses of God knows what alcohol... on the night before her first exam at Uni. Actually, I shouldn't be so proud about this. :b

Anyway, good luck on your 'thing'. ;)