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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Do you believe in transformations?

Things have been a little more dramatic in my world than I ordinarily like. Too many ups and downs and internal civl wars to feel secure in anything...

That said, I really haven't written much in the past two weeks. And I miss it. Instead, I have been focused inward and trying to make sense of the confusion in my life and what's going on with it all. Does this ever happen to you? One day you wake up and you are soooo done. Done with the BS. Done with the trend parts of your life seems to be on and the direction it's going?

That was me.

It still is, but I'd like to say that by facing it head on, there is some transformative powers at play here. That by turning to face it, rather than running from it, there is a power there to make a positive change for the better. To move into a better future. One that was only not possible before, but not even a gleam in your eye because it was never even acknowledged. Never realized.

I don't know how this will play out. I don't know if the new direction that things seem to be trending will work out. I just know that regardless, things will be better in the end. They have to. Because things just were not working before. I'd like to think that this transformative quality is being imbued upon my entire family unit - but ultimately, the only one I can control is myself. So either things will work, or they won't. But right now, there are steps that need to be taken to work toward a common goal.

It will either be so transformative that it will shake my world as I know it. Or it won't. But now I know I have the strength to let the chips fly and I'm okay with wherever they land.