A Beautiful Lie

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm some freakish anomaly.

When people completely support me, telling me the things I think I want to hear… ("You can do it!")

… *sigh* … It's when I struggle most.

It's like there's an internal switch that goes… "Oh. Well, I guess I won't surprise anybody by doing ______."

And truth be told, I loooooove to surprise people.

Probably because I love to be surprised.

If there's one thing that doesn't happen enough in this world, it's surprises.

At least, not in intentional kind.

Since setting my deadline to finishing the last chapter - I have worked on it. But I haven't finished the edit. My goddamn deadline of finishing the whole enchilada (meaning, the ending) by the end of the month still holds… but I've been regrouping. Reorganizing my brain. 

I realized my notes for Pendomus where one big cluster of snarly-gnarly crap. Along with my folder on my desktop. So, I did what any sane person would do… I took a day to reorganize.

I looked at a bazillion notes. A bazillion and two folders. Nine-thousand pictures (no, not really that many… yeesh!).

Evernote is my brain.

But I DID listen to close to 150 voice recordings that I'd taken of myself… rambling on like a lunatic. (I swear, if I say "obviously" one more time in a recording, I'm gonna shoot myself.) I've regrouped my entire list of stuff, separating it into manageable packets of information. I've even instilled the help of Evernote.

Mindnode rocks the
brainstorming scene!

(What can I say? I outgrew pieces of paper and an excel spreadsheet. HA!)

With Evernote, I can organize my thoughts more effectively and find them at quicker speed. Whoever invented that program is a GENIUS! Combine that with MindNode Pro and I am in BUSINESS!


But… that still leaves me with this looming deadline and at least 2 1/2 chapters to rework/rewrite before July 1.

So, with that in mind…

Could someone tell me it's impossible, so I can get on with it and prove you wrong??

Platform Plateau

I've lost it. Oh, gawd…

No, no… my brain seems to be back after a year on hiatus.

Gee, I wish I could add a sound effect.

Unfortunately, however, my platform motivation is gone.

I don't know what it is… maybe life getting in the way. Perhaps boredom in the same stuff. Twitter, facebook, blog… only to start over again.

Maybe, I just don't have much to say.

Whatever the reason… my heart or my shoes… Wait, no, that's not it. *scratches head* Different story. Heehee...

Anyhoo… I need to regain my role as an author. Reclaim my voice.

So… it's within that sentiment, I reinstate yet another…


Goddamn Deadlines.

Yep.

That.

I'm in the final chapters. The "big battle", as it were. This is not the time to be all namby pamby about finishing.

As Jillian would say, "You don't get to the ending and quit. The end is when you finish, STRONG."

So, suck it up, buttercup and here we go…

My latest deadline will be as follows:

I WILL finish editing and writing the final battle by Saturday, June 9th.

And be completely done with editing and writing Pendomus as a whole by Saturday, June 30th.

Wish me luck!