Embarrass Me[me] - Take FOUR (Tequila Fan)

Dear god… I'm only on number four?? I coulda swore I was done with these by now. Yeesh. 

*shrugs*

Okay… For the sake of my sanity (and quite possibly yours)… this is gonna be the last Embarrass Me[me]. No one remembers where this started anyway… so… there! What? Besides… I have this thing… at the end of September… that's sorta… ACK!!!


And now… for the final installment:

4. Tequila Fan

The first thing I need to impress upon you, my lovely reader… Is this: I am not much of a drinker. Like… ever.

Very typically, alcoholic beverages last in my fridge for weeks or in my liquor cabinet for… years. (Alcohol can't go bad, right??) 


For one thing, I have too many balls to juggle (Uh...Does that sound bad to anyone else?) and I need my wits about me. 

However… for some bizarre reason, I've hosted an annual New Year's Eve party since I moved out of my parent's house. Things never got too wild… We're a bunch of geeks getting together and being a bunch of... drunk geeks.

∞∞∞∞∞∞ § ∞∞∞∞∞∞

On this fateful particular night… we wanted to mix things up. This party had to rock! 


It was, after all New Years Eve, 1999. 

Party like it's 1999!

TIME TO BUST OUT THE BIG GUNS: Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. ------> 


As some of you may recall, 1999 was the year the new Star Wars movies were being released. (Episode 1 had just dropped back in May or some goofy thing. For the love, WHY do I remember these things??) 


Upon revealing the pretty trivial pursuit box, Sherry (aka Beta-Reader-Extraordinaire) dropped a little bomb on us:


She'd never seen Star Wars. As in… any of them.


Whaaaaaa? There was someone from my generation who could watch the movies in their "technical" chronological sequence?? 


This wasn't right… 


There must be a tear in the space time continuum. -------> More importantly, how did I not know this??

Nice perm, yo. Who the hell took this picture?? 

In order to not have a HUGE advantage against Ms. Naïve, there was a brilliant suggestion: 


<------------TEQUILA!


(Though, how this was going to help Sherry, I wasn't sure.)

This was a new experience (at least for me) and as you can tell from the picture, tequila tastes GROSS!

So, naturally… 4 shots of tequila later…


We were ready to rock and roll. The group was loopy. I couldn't see straight, so this was… good? Right?

Truth be told… I don't remember much of the game.

Here's what I DO remember: Sherry wiped the floor on Star War Trivial Pursuit.

Don't ask me how… I think it was through some weird brain-meld-osmosis thing.

Or quite possibly, because the 3 Star Wars nerds men geeks in the group kept giving her points when she shouted out answers like:

"CHIMICHANGA!" (aka Chewbacca)

or

"WD40!" (R2D2)

*shakes head*

After the embarrassing butt-whoopin' to a girl who'd never watched Star Wars, we celebrated the countdown in the usual style… we turned on the TV and yelled at the screen. (At least, I think we did…)

Then, for whatever reason, Sherry and I wound up on my bed. (It's not like that, you pervs!)

My mother had called and I needed moral support to talk to her and sound… undrunk. (See, I had just turned 21 and while, I was "technically" legal… I didn't want her to know… you know?)


The problem was, I couldn't stop the world from spinning… And Sherry couldn't stop giggling at a different kind of spinning-------->

Which in turn… started a giggle-fest.

The upside, as it turned out: Mom was as schnockered as we were!

Why did we change clothes?
And why couldn't I be the one in the leather pants?
Well, at least WD40 there could save me. ;)

So after hanging up the phone, and {I'm told} a good half hour of laughing at the fan, both of us were passing a garbage can back and forth…

Yeah, good times.

But at least for a while, we felt no pain.


Moral of the story: Get drunk and be a pretty blonde. You can talk your way through anything.








Technically, I'm supposed to tag more people to continue on the humility… but shhhhhhhh. I think I forgot. ;)

Embarrass Me[me] - Take ONE

Oh, god. I can't look.

I don't know why I do this to myself.
I must be a glutton for punishment. Yep, that's it.

So… here's the thing; Ms.Crazypants 
tagged me in another blog.

Something 'bout being on fire. ------>
(What's up with that?)

Now I'm supposed to come up with 7 embarrassing moments from my past.

Not quite sure how those two correlate or how I came about it… I think maybe Lyn was consuming a little too much alcohol at those belly-dancing Bulgarian night clubs she was chatting about.

As for me and MY embarrassing situations… 

I've either suppressed them OR I'm incredibly forgetful. Maybe both. (Was it the concussion?)

This is how bad it is, I had to inquire, NAY---> DEMAND stories from my friends and family, trying to jar my memory on stupid things I've done. After much prodding, I finally managed to compile my list of 7. Come to find out, my friends all seem to think I am either impervious to embarrassment or just really good at embarrassing them. HA! I guess that's not a bad place to be…

(You hear that CRIT gals… look out come Sept 29th. Eh-hem.)

Unfortunately… (or perhaps fortunately, I don't know) I'm too wordy for my own good. I've decided that since a human's attention span is approximately 3 minutes (thorough scientific research, you know), I'm gonna make this a weekly thing until I've got all 7… um, expunged from my memory banks permanently.

Here's numero uno on my damn list.

1. Boyfriend arrangement

True love on a bus.

So picture it… there I was, a timid little 8th grader sitting on the school bus, ready to get out of the hell-hole known as junior high. Despite popular opinion, I wasn't always the sexy, self-assured creature you have come to know and love. Alas, I was a geeky girl with a propensity for angsty poetry and drawing people who's eyes were far too big for their faces. (What, don't judge. I like eyes, okay? Psh.)

As the story has been replayed back to me; I had been flirting (albeit horribly) to a fellow geeky 8th grader of the opposite sex. (Eureka!). Now, at 13, or whatever god-awful age this was, I was floundering. Evidently, so was he.

 To my horror, A blonde beauty (with the cool permed hair I would have killed for back then) was seated in front of us and noticed the poor interplay. As if it wasn't bad enough to be an uber-geek, a complete stranger had to detect it. Oh, god. 

Crazy curly turned around and eyed the two of us mischievously with her wicked, multicolored eyes.
(Yes, they are TWO different colors, for realz.)

"Are you two going together?" She asked.

*Blank stares*

*swallow*

"Um, no." We both mumbled.

"Well, you are now." Curly declared. A scrawny finger was thrust through the air like a javelin at wide-eyed 8th grade boy. "Sit with her, already, would you?"

*blink*

*blink*

A smirk spread across her face and Curly sat back down.

You know what? It freakin' worked!

Once the crimson had faded from our cheeks, 8th-grade-deer-in-the-headlights-boy fumbled around for his backpack and moved over to my seat. It was love.

For all of three weeks. 

Love ya, curly girly!

Meh, it was 8th grade. What did you expect? That was long-term, man.

Ironical side note---> Crazy Curly turned out to be Beta-Reader-Extraordinaire. Huh.

Lesson learned: Love pops up unexpectedly.

~Occasionally in the form of nosy, curly-haired girls----------------->

• Up next Friday...

2. Cutting my hair long

(Yes, you read that right. I have the pics to prove it.)