Matter of Opinion

Everyone seems to have an opinion on what I should be doing. How I should be handling life.

And regardless of what I do, someone… somewhere… thinks I've done it wrong.

It's starting to get really flippin' old.


I'm continually pushed from all directions, squeezed until I can no longer breathe or find the oxygen I need to be me.

Instead, I become a shell of myself… keeping all but those on a "need to know basis" out of the loop and in turn, denying myself the ability to live life the way I would. The way I want.

Don't get me wrong. Some of the changes are wonderful. Some opinions matter more than others.

Overall, life has been fantastic.

But the last few days have been hard again. Maybe it's just growing pains. Maybe it's just a rebalance of energy… of life. People push and I have to find the strength to push back.

See, the stupid thing is, I get myself into this mess… because I care.

I care about my family's opinion. I care about my husband's opinion… my kids', my friend's. And when they clash in their opinion, no matter what I do, someone will be upset with me. And really… the only one hurt is me. I feel like no matter what I do, no matter what I choose-- even if I know it's right-- it will be somehow, some way… wrong.

After a while… it wears on you.

It's as if I'm not allowed to have my own opinion. My own life. Make my own decisions.

But I'm done with that.

This is my life.

The only opinion that matters in the end is mine. I will take all others into consideration, make no mistake.

But do not ever make me feel guilty for differing my opinion from yours.

It doesn't make you wrong. It doesn't make me wrong.

It makes me independent.

Go ahead, be wrong

Recently, this notion of being wrong has really been on the forefront of my mind.

Everyone, it seems has an opinion and likewise, it seems, everyone's opinion is the right one. Right?

If you don't agree, well, then you must be an idiot. Right? Right?  {insert eyeroll here}

An amazing book blogger and fellow Twitter fiend, Kara was recently attacked for her opinion and review of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse V. Now, while the situation that unfolded is neither original nor entirely surprising, it's got me thinking...

Why do we want to influence others in order to prove ourselves right? What if *gasp* we're wrong?

There's a fascinating video on this subject, which I would encourage everyone to watch. (Thus, it's here!) It talks so much about the values of being wrong and why, in the end, we're better people for it.




The gentleman who slammed Kara for her review was, in my humble opinion, really just attention seeking. It happens. But on his blog, he raised an interesting question... does an artist (in his case an indie-author) need to be nice in order to sell their books?

In a word. No.

I am a firm believer that each person needs to be true to themselves and their inner voice. If his is being harsh and abrasive-- at times, alienating people, many who may have otherwise read his stuff... well, that's his prerogative. Others will surely take the place of those he's lost. And that's okay.


He also posed the question: Should an artist be viewed separately from their art?

I, personally, don't know that they should. There are many stories who's authors I adore. People I aspire to be like. Does this man not look at Vonnegut as someone to aspire to be? How then, is that separating the art and the artist?

Art is the expression of the artist. It always comes from somewhere inside them or it wouldn't be believable.

It wouldn't be worth experiencing.